Today was a not so good, very bad day, in regards to Payten and her health. I had planned on going to Zachary and Makenna's school Halloween Mercado this morning, but plans quickly changed when Payten would not wake up. Don't get me wrong, she was not in a coma , but she was a listless, rag doll with absolutely no energy. Why? No clue. Is it from her breathing struggles or is it something else? Fortunately, I did get to speak to the Pulmonologist and I was right about the no phone call meaning there was no real finding/worry. However we still talked about what was going and how Payten was acting and the plan as of now is, to monitor her closely over the weekend, if she has more complications, then we take her into the hospital, if she has no worsening complications, but still is not better by Monday, then I am suppose to call his office, let him know and we will schedule a bronchoscopy to see if there really is a problem obstructing her and truly determine what might be the cause of all of her breathing troubles.
My heart hurts right now for her. A part of me wishes we would have left her airway alone and kept the trach in, but then if we would have done that, we would still be questioning whether or not she really needed the trach and probably, still be struggling with her constantly pulling it out. So I guess it is better to have tried and failed, than not to try and always wonder. I am not saying that she is going to be canulated again, meaning having her trach put back in, but it is a real possibility and right now the odds are not looking to be in her favor. With that being said, Payten has surprised us in past, so honestly I am in complete darkness until a decision is actually made. I just want my daughter to breathe comfortably again, therefore I will do whatever it takes to get there. Waiting is not my forte, I want to have her scoped now, not later, but the Doctor is hoping that by giving her a little more time on the steroids, she will turn around and I understand where he is coming from, for sometimes it get worse before it gets better. Therefore I have to remain patient and hopeful that we are doing what is right for her.
Not only did she struggle with her breathing and awaking up today, but she also struggled with seizures too. For the short time Payten was awake today, she had four seizures in a row, which leaves me questioning if she is sick and that is what is creating the havoc on her body and causing all the complications. However, the million dollar question is, what is she sick with?! This is what is so frustrating when it comes to Payten and her health, the always wondering and not knowing. I have a favor to ask of you, if you pray, please pray for Payten, she is really struggling and could use those prayers, thank you in advance! Now before I go, I want to share a moment a sweetness with you, today, instead of Zachary being upset that we were unable to make it to his Mercado, he jumps in the car, with a smile on his face and says, I know you were not at the Mercado because Payten is not well. That is why, I found a prize she would love, clapper hands. I thought maybe that would help cheer her up and make her feel better and better it did! She loved them! Seriously, he is the best big brother and I could not be more pleased with his choices and demeanor. I know it is going to be a long and stressful weekend, but I am hopeful things will start looking up again for Payten and we will soon start to see some relief from all of these troubles. I pray you all have a blessed weekend and good night. Thank you for the love you have for my sweet Payten, I know she feels it and I greatly appreciate it.
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