A Christmas Angel visited our home last night and left a gift that will never be forgotten!

Last night our family was the recipient of a very kind, genuine, act of service, that left us feeling, honored and loved, as well as feeling gratitude and humility for the bountiful gifts that were bestowed upon our family that night. But before I fully get into what we received last night and exactly what it meant to us, I wanted, no rather I needed to share this video with you all, for I felt strongly impressed/inspired to do so. It is a very touching video, that puts the True meaning of Christmas in a very simple, yet beautiful way. Here is that video:

 

Is this not one of the sweetest video's put out there to remind all of us what Christmas should really be about? After watching this sweet video yesterday morning, it got me thinking about where my heart truly falls during this season and I realized that like many others, I tend to fall victim to the commercialization of Christmas and trying to make it prefect and buy/find the prefect presents, etc. However, this video reminded me that, that is not what Christmas is about, rather Christmas is a feeling, Christmas is an action of love, kindness, charity, etc. Christmas is welcoming the Spirit of Christ into your life/heart and celebrating that welcoming. It reminded me of a quote from one of my most favorite Christmas stories, which states:

 

As I reflected upon these thoughts that this video conjured up inside me, as well as the thoughts that this quote brought into my mind, I remembered something that Joseph and I started shortly after Makenna was born, a tradition that did not last long, but one that should have. That tradition was taking a Christmas stocking, writing the Savior's name on it and then on Christmas Eve, we would each write a letter/birthday card to the Savior, stating what "gift" we wanted to give him, not a gift that could be bought, but a gift from the heart and once we finished our letter, we would place it in the stocking and Christmas morning, we would take out those letters we wrote and we would read them aloud and make a verbal agreement to our family and to our Savior Jesus Christ, that in the coming year we would fulfill that gift. Unfortunately, life got the better of us and things became busy after Payten was born and traditions and the Christmas spirit of some of those traditions, got shuffled to the side, as we tried to juggle everything that we needed to do/accomplish. And these thoughts made me want to bring these traditions back, so that our family would realize just what the Grinch realized, that Christmas doesn't come from a store, but rather it is a little bit more!

Then, last night, we received a knock on our door and when we opened it, we found these two gift bags sitting on our porch,

Filled with beautiful treasures and attached to one of the gift bags was this note,

 Which stated,

 

Dear Merrill's, We hope you enjoy this "Fancy Christmas Eve" gift. We have put together several things, including a new tradition to help make the night extra special! Of all the people we know, your family inspires us to live and love better and we wanted to give you a little something in return! We wish you a very Merry Christmas and much deserved peace in the coming year! 

 

 

At this point, tears were following down my face, for what sat in front of me was a sweet note and gesture that was written and given to our family out of love, not need. Now, here are the treasures that we found in the bags,

 

As we unwrapped each individual piece, yes, each candle was wrapped separately and the other things were in the bags, just covered with tissue paper, waiting to be found. As we unwrapped and found each piece, we quickly realized that they had given us the setting for a Fancy Christmas Eve dinner, which made me cry even harder and made Makenna squeal with joy, even louder, for in her words, She would feel as though she was a princess when we sat down for Christmas dinner! But it does not end there, we also found these wrapped up in the bags as well,

Zachary and Emmett received a $30 gift card to Khol's and Makenna and Payten, received a $30 gift card to Justice and Joseph and I received a gift card to Outback steakhouse for $25 and then a $10 gift card to Cold stone for dessert. To some, this may seem very little, but to us, it meant the world! Our kids were so excited to get these gift cards, they could not believe that there was someone kind enough to share their Christmas with them. And it reminded Joseph and I, that though we may feel like we only have each other, there are a lot more friends and people out there in the world, who love us than we realize and it truly humbled my heart to receive that much needed reminder that people do care and do love my family and I. The last treasure that we found amongst the bags, was a box with a note attached to it. Now, here is where I truly realized that this family was inspired to choose us to rendered this kind act of theirs. Here is a picture of the box and then a picture of the note:

Here is what the note said,

 

Dear Merrill's, In keeping with the true meaning of Christmas, we thought you might like to add this special new tradition to your Christmas celebration.

Every Christmas Eve, each member of the family writes down what their personal gift to Jesus Christ will be for that coming year. They then slip it into this special gift box and put it under the tree. On Christmas morning, the first gift to be opened is the gift box full of the family's special gifts for Jesus. As each person reads their gift aloud to the family it truly will help to bring the real reason of why we celebrate this special day into focus.

Our Christmas wish it that as you carry out this tradition year after year, it will help your family become closer to each other and most importantly, closer to your Savior Jesus Christ.

 

 

Now, honestly, how ironic is that?! Inspired?! I say so, for only that morning had I received the strong impression that we needed to restart a tradition that we had forgotten/shoved to the side and here comes this sweet, generous, kind and loving family, who gives us everything we need to restart this once implemented tradition and more. To say that my heart was not bursting at the seams, would be an understatement. I truly at that moment, knew that the Lord was there, watching over me and my family, letting us know that he did indeed love us and all he wanted was for us to love him. Humbled and Grateful is how I went to bed. I can not express enough thanks to this family, for reminding my family and I what Christmas is truly about. I pray that soon we will be able to pay it forward and return this sweet gesture to a family that we feel inspired to serve. There is good in this world and last night my family and I witness some of that good and it will be a gift that is never forgotten, this will be a Christmas that we will always remember and cherish in our hearts.

 

I sincerely pray that we may all take the time in our own lives, to reflect over the year and decipher what we did that was good and where we can make improvements, so that we may in the coming year, be that much better, that much more kinder, that much more charitable, etc. which will then help us to carry in our hearts the Spirit of Christ, which truly is the true spirit of Christmas. Wouldn't it be nice to feel Christmas all year round?! I think it would be! I am so humbled to know that I have so many people who love me and I appreciate all of your love and support towards my family. Thank you, all of you! You inspire me to be better. May we all go forth spreading the love in our hearts and the joy in our laughter. Good night my dear friends and God bless!  



Today was an Odd, kind of crazy, somewhat beautiful day!

Today was quite the day, it was very interesting indeed. First off, as I was going to bed last night/early this morning, Joseph and I discovered that Payten was lying in her crib completely naked. Yes, you read that right, she was naked! Now, how does a child who can not dress herself, let alone do much of anything else, undress herself while lying in her crib? I literally am still trying to figure out the answer to that question. It reminds me of the time, when Emmett woke up wearing bright pink lipstick, but went to bed clean, wearing no lipstick. Yes, we have a very odd family! There are mysteries in this world that will never be solved and these two experiences happen to be some of those mysteries, but hey, they make for a good laugh and story, which makes for a fun life, so well take em, even if they are little strange!

Anyways, back to what I was saying, Joseph and I found Payten, wide awake and completely naked. Therefore we had to redress her and figure out a way to get her to go to sleep, considering she still had not gone to sleep for the night, which meant that Joseph, nor I, got much sleep. I think we probably got a total of 2 to 3 hours of sleep, max; considering Payten did not fall asleep until 4:30am and Joseph was already at work and I was still awake tending to her. So you can imagine what a joy I was this morning! Seriously, it was not my finest moment. At one point during my morning, I questioned why I even became a Mom?! (seriously, I did!) That moment came after I discovered that my darling two year old terror of a boy, whom I love dearly, had crumbled up a couple packages of Ritz crackers and spread them all over my couch, living room floor and kitchen. That was the moment in my day, where the tears flowed and I asked myself, why?! Why would I have chosen this for my life?! Shortly after that, meaning my "mini" mental break down, I got over it and realized that is good, everyone has a bad day and therefore everything would okay. Especially since I live in a time of modern luxuries and thankfully I was the owner of a lovely Kirby Vacuum, to which my two year owes his life to, for it is what save my sanity and cleaned up the mess! (totally kidding btw in regards to the two year old's life! Well, sort of!) After that fiasco complete, my day thankfully got better and better.

Rather than killing myself and forcing Payten to wake up, etc. I decided that today would be a great day to cancel all therapies Payten had, not only due to our lack of sleep and my rather insane mental status, but also due to the fact that Payten spiked a high fever. Never have I been more grateful for a high fever than I was today, for I really did not want to have to cancel therapies, because they are so important to Payten and her well being, but a fever is a fever and you can't mess around with that; so canceling was the only way to go! Yay! By canceling, it allowed me to slow down and take a breather and go at my own pace, which was quite slow. But let me just say this, for only getting a couple hours of sleep, I rocked it! I cleaned my house good today, which makes me not only happy, but proud of myself! LOL! Once that "chore" was complete, I took a nice long nap! Which really was my saving grace, for I do not know if I could have kept going on for the remainder of my day, without that nap.

After my nap, it was time to take Makenna to her Occupational Therapy session, which usually goes really well, but like everything else, today was an off day and therapy threw us all for a major loop. Makenna really struggled today during her session and it has left both myself and the OT questioning why? We are left wondering if it is an anxiety issue, meaning that she is getting worked up before therapy starts, because she knows it is going to be hard and therefore when she comes, she completely shuts down from the stress of the anxiety? Or is it that she is suffering from an auditory processing issue and therefore she literally can not do what is being asked of her, because she literally can not process the information? Honestly, we have no clue, it really could be either factor and Makenna is a closed book, which complicates things that much more. She is not one who expresses herself through word very well. Which leaves us guessing, which means that the OT has her work cut out for herself and she is going to have to mixed things up, in order to truly figure out what is really going on with our sweet Makenna, girl. The next few weeks are going to be interesting and they are going to give us a lot of insight as to whether Makenna really is suffering from an auditory processing problem or not. If she is suffering from that, then we will take the necessary steps of having her tested to see how severe the problem is and go from there as to what will best help her to overcome this problem. So, as you can tell, I have a lot to think about, which is not what I needed, especially on a sleep deprived, crazy day.

Thankfully, my night ended good. This night, literally melted all my troubles and sorrows and stresses away. Directly after Makenna's therapy, Makenna and I met up with the Cub Scouts and we all went Caroling at one of the Nursing homes in the Valley. Words can not begin to express how touching it was to be a part of something so joyful, loving, and kind. I truly felt as though we were Christmas angels in these sweet peoples lives. They were so happy to see us and to hear us sing and receive our cards and treats, that the boys made. It quite literally choked me up a few times, for I sincerely love the Elderly. They hold a special place in my heart. I enjoy each and every time I get to visit with one of them and hear their stories about life, etc. It really is a special time, that I always seem to cherish. Therefore, I am beyond thankful that I took the time out of my crazy day, to go and do this great service these lovely people. It not only touched their souls, but it also touched mine, as well as the boys, and it helped to remind me what truly is important in life and it helped me to forget about all the "extra" things. There were a few Elderly people there, that truly touched my heart, for I could feel their sweet spirits and I knew that they had to be some pretty special and awesome men and women. One in particular, gave me a big hug and then looked at my face and with tears in her eyes, said, "Thank you my dear, you literally are a beautiful angel, I can feel it." Now, how sweet is that? Those words completely melted my heart and I will forever remember this beautiful ladies face, for she too is an angel!  It was such a simple thing that we did, but it truly had a huge impact on their lives, which leaves me feeling more joyous that I was able to enjoy this time with them. It really was the prefect end to a not so prefect day, in which I am thankful for.

On a different note, Buddy and Josie have been quite busy! First off, they were found this morning making Snow angels on our dining room table. Here is a picture of that,

Then this afternoon, they were found hanging around, quite literally,

Silly elves!

Now, though my day ended on a beautiful note, I am still so very thankful that this crazy day is over and I have the opportunity, to start anew tomorrow. Unfortunately, it might be busier than I would like, because I did not get the Christmas things I wanted done today. Which means that Payten's therapist might be getting oranges and maybe ornaments, that is if I have enough time tomorrow morning to make the ornaments and get cookies baked. Oh well, if it doesn't happen,  it's the thought that counts, they will end up with a healthy snack! And besides, they know we love them! So, here's to hoping that tomorrow is a little brighter and less crazy, and that tonight brings some much needed peaceful sleep. Good night my dear friends and I truly hope you are enjoying this Christmas season. Take care and spread some joy, much love to you my dear friends.

Today was a day filled with productivity, joy and laughter!

As I went to bed last night, I had this overwhelming feeling that I needed to be on alert, because Payten was going to pull her trach out sometime during the night/morning. To which I am so thankful for my impression, for it was right and at 6:15am, I was awoken to Payten pulling her trach out. Not the way I want to be woken up, but thankfully it was a smooth process, because I was already mentally prepared for it to happen. Therefore, I got up, went and grabbed all the supplies needed to change out her trach, woke Zachary up for assistance and got down to business. The reason I was dreading putting the trach back in, was because ever since Payten had her tracheotomy reinserted, it has been a total mess every time it comes out, because Payten no longer has that beautifully round stoma that she used to, rather, now it is covered in granuloma tissues(which is scare tissue and develops/grows around different incisions, such as a tracheotomy/stoma site.). These tissues are a nuisance, for they block the hole/stoma, which makes it near to impossible to reinsert the trach, which not only leaves us, the ones reinserting it, frustrated, but it also leaves Payten, upset, bleeding and in pain. Therefore, it is a crappy process that we try to avoid at all costs, but when it comes to sleeping, it is hard to keep her from pulling at it, let alone keeping her from succeeding at pulling it out completely. So, unfortunately, we have moments, such as today. Fortunately, our day got better as it went on.

After the ordeal of fighting Payten and the granuloma tissues around her stoma, so that I could reinsert her airway back into place, I decide to take Payten out of bed and let her play around on the floor, which is one of her most favorite things to do. While Payten was playing on the floor, she was allotted an opportunity while Emmett was coloring, to seize one of his papers, to which she was successful, which made her beyond happy, for paper happens to be another one of Payten's favorite things! She loves the crinkle sound it makes and she enjoys every minute she has destroying it. Here is a picture of her grabbing the paper and what happens to the paper after she gets a hold of it,

It think this is a pretty good image of just how much she enjoys playing on the floor, especially with paper! After our eventful/fun/playful morning, Payten had feeding therapy, which went better than expected, considering Payten is still sick. However, she did not taste any food, but she was awake, engaged and ready to play, throughout the entire session, which is all we can ask for these days. It truly made my heart happy to see her so attentive and alert during her session. It makes me more hopeful that she will overcome all these obstacles that she has laying before her and that eventually, she will come out on top again. Because, unfortunately, for a little while there, I was beginning to lose hope that she would never be able to pull out, but with days like the one she had today, they help to remind me to never give up the hope, rather always keep believing/dreaming, for you never know what tomorrow will bring.

After therapy, Payten and Emmett took naps. Which in all reality was a Christmas miracle, for Emmett never naps anymore or rather it is far and few in between, if ever, that he does nap. So, to have them both nap at the same time, was pure joy and heaven for me and to be honest, it could not have come at a more opportune time, for I had a ton of things that needed to be done and no time for help from a very eager/helpful two year old. So, while Payten and Emmett napped, I got to baking and crafting. First off, I focused on my project/craft that I needed to complete for the Christmas exchange party that I went to this evening and let me just say, it was a lovely party, one in which I enjoyed greatly. These are the nights I cherish, for I do not get out very often, so when I do, it is beyond appreciated. Here is the gift I was able to complete, thanks to Emmett and Payten taking naps,

Didn't it turn out so cute?! I loved it and I am happy that someone else can enjoy it now. I very am grateful that my day went so beautiful so that I was able to come with a cute gift, which allotted me to leave with a cute gift! So, not only did I get some much needed girl time/adult conversation, away from home, I was also able to come home with a present, which ended up being total win, win for me! Here is the present that I left the party with,

Such cute garland, that goes oh so well with my other Christmas décor, it truly makes my heart happy! I can not wait until next year's party, considering what a wonderful time I had at this years!

Okay, back to before the party, after I was finished crafting, I moved on to baking,

Which is typically not my forte, but I still try and make an attempt during the holidays to make some type of goodie for friends and family. Typically, I find myself making these beautiful cookies, for they are super easy, yummy, and I seem to never fail at making/baking them, which is good for the challenged baker that I am. Here is a picture of the final result,

Don't they look divine? Believe me, they were/are! These are my all time favorite cookies, I love Andie's Mint Cookies, they are the best and oh so yummy! Tomorrow, I am going to be brave and attempt at making sugar cookies, which to this day, I have not been able to master, so wish me luck, for I am definitely going to need it; especially if it go as well as the fudge making attempt went this evening.

Let me explain, after crafting and baking cookies all afternoon, I was feeling ambitious, so I decided to put my baking skills to the test and attempt at making fudge, which ended in total failure. I do not know what went wrong, all I know is that the fudge did not set, which does not surprise me, for like I said before, baking is not my forte, therefore unsuccessful moments are going to be expected. But, hey at least I tried! Maybe next time it will turn out. I just hate the fact that I wasted all this money on ingredients that did not turn out to be edible. However, with that being said, the fudge still tastes really good, it is just not in the normal fudge form, rather it is mush! Oh well, Joseph can eat it with a spoon, right?! LOL!

I feel good about being able to have accomplished so much during my day, even though it started off a little rocky. I am thankful that I was able to turn my day around and have a joyful day, filled with productivity and laughter. Even Buddy and Josie joined in on all the "crafting" action,

While I was gone picking up the kids from school, Buddy and Josie, got into my craft supplies and decided to do some of their own crafting/painting. Makenna's reaction was priceless, she comes in from the car and exclaims, "Wow, I never knew Buddy and Josie were such amazing artist, they really are talented little Elf's!" Well, thank you Makenna, I think I am a pretty good artist, if I do say so myself, NOT! LOL! Well, maybe if I was an eight year old, hahahaha! Anyways, I am glad that my eight year old daughter, thinks that my Elf crafts, are masterpieces. Her compliment, gave my ego a much needed boost!

I am truly grateful that no matter how my days may start out, I have the opportunity to turn them around and make them turn into great days, which is what today happened to be! Now, before I go, I want to end with a quote that I saw posted on my friends facebook page,

I felt that this would be the prefect message to end with, for it is a message of truth, that is a wonderful reminder for us all and it seemed to be the prefect ending to this lovely day! I hope you all will choose to be joyful and feel good, so that you can spread good to those around you, which will then, hopefully cause their own hearts to swell with joy, which will then lead to good, etc. I hope we all may be the good that we want to see in the world! I love you all and I hope you all have a good night. Sweet dreams and God bless!

Boo! Payten and I have been sick!

Man, just when I thought I finally had my plan and I was going to overcome the stress of the season with productive success, BAM!, the flu truck hits me and wiped me clean of any productive energy I may have been experiencing. (At least I think it was the flu truck!) So instead of me spending my week crafting with the kids and getting the teacher, therapist, doctor and neighbor gifts complete, I spent my week, tending to Payten, who appear to have had the same collision with the truck as I did, as well as, chasing this cute, rambunctious, little monster around,

This little boy may be cute, but do not let that cuteness full you, he is a ball full of energy, to which you fully do not understand how much he is truly filled with, until you, yourself, are wiped clean of all energy, then you suddenly start to question how on earth you chase this little energizer bunny around everyday! Around the time Joseph would finally get home from work, was the time my body would completely drop from exhaustion. Honestly, whenever Payten and I could sleep, we did! Payten's best friends this week were, sleep, oxygen, breathing treatments, suctioning of her trach, performed by Mom and Dad and the humidifier. My best friends this week were similar, they were, sleep, humidifier and NyQuil (for at bedtime)! It really was a week of pure winter misery! Like they say, Tis the season to be Jolly and Sick! Thankfully, I was still Jolly through all my misery.

I am grateful that by Friday, I was feeling okay enough to get out with Joseph and finish up on some much needed Christmas shopping or I might be really stressed out this coming week. Thankfully we are mostly finished, except for a few odds and ends, here and there. Oddly enough, though this week was a non productive week, of me being sick, I am not worried about the gifts I did not complete, rather, I say, Hey, it is what it is and if I get them done, then I get them done. And if I don't, I don't. It is as simple as that. I did not have much control over my body becoming sick and therefore, why stress over something that is completely out of my hands? So, tonight as I was thinking about what I was going to give Payten's Feeding Therapist tomorrow morning, since I did not get the baking I wanted done; I decided that I would give Oranges from our tree instead, along with the semi-homemade ornament that I made, of course! I tried to use Payten's thumb print for the ornament, so that it would be more special and sentimental for Ms. Laurie, however, Payten's thumb print was too small and since my other kiddos were already asleep when I was working on it, I did my own thumb print and I think it still turned out cute, even if it is a little bigger than expected! Here is the finished product, all packaged up,

I wish I would have been able to complete the homemade cards I wanted to attach to the presents, but again, at least we have something to give and something that is still super cute, even if it was not what was originally planned, we at least thought of them and gave them something that came from our hearts.

So, now you know how today was spent, well, now let me share about yesterday's adventures! Yesterday was spent mostly sleeping and me finishing up with the Christmas shopping, with a little fun thrown in at the end. Last night, I decided to start a new family tradition, which the idea came from a friend of mine and what it was, was we start off getting the kids ready for bed, we have them put on their slippers and gather their blankets and pillows and while Dad is getting the hot cocoa prepared to drink in the car, as well as the car ready, Mom reads the Polar Express. After reading the Polar Express, we then go on our own Polar Express ride, which consists of us riding around town, looking at Christmas Lights, all while drinking hot cocoa. Here are some pictures I was able to capture before the Polar Express took off,

 This picture was taken after I read to the kids and informed them we were going on our own Polar Express ride!

 

This was captured right before our Polar Express took off.

Such cuties, these kids are!

 

Unfortunately, the light show was not very successful, for we did not find as many neighborhoods that had grand light displays, that we have seemed to be able to find in years past, but we did end up seeing a firework show, which made up for the epic failure in the neighborhood light display department. All in all, we had a wonderful time being together as a family, enjoying one of my favorite Christmas stories, as well as each others company. After we got home, the kids went straight to bed, which allotted Joseph and I a little one on one time, to which we took advantage of it by watching a movie. It was a great way to end the evening that was filled with a new and fun family Christmas tradition. This will be a tradition that we will continue to do in the many years that will follow. However, next time we will be more prepared in knowing where the grand neighborhood light displays are, so that we do not keep having epic failures in that department.

 

I am thankful that I am finally starting to feel better and I am hoping that this week will be my week of productivity, filled with crafting and baking! Wish me luck, Please! Now, before I go, here is what Buddy and Josie have been up to.... (Unfortunately, because I was sick, I forgot to capture each moment of our Elf's adventures, therefore I only have a couple Elf antics to show you for this past week! Oh well, at least I kept up with it and didn't drop the ball, for which, I should get major points for that!)

 

And darn it!, there were some really cute antics that I forgot to capture. Again, oh well, at least the kids got to enjoy the antics and will have memories of these antics in their little heads for many years. I love Elf on a Shelf, it is such a fun thing to do when you have little kids!

I pray that this post finds each of you happy, healthy and feeling blessed. Let us all try to remember the "REASON" for the season and by doing so, may we all try to be a little kinder, a little more thoughtful and may we all try to give where there is a need. I love you all and I pray you all have a blessed night and a productive week.



Tonight got me feeling more in the Christmas Spirit! Hooray for that!

Tonight was such a beautiful night, one that fully brought me back into the "Christmas Spirit". It was a much needed outing, filled with lovely company, good food and the sweet reminder of what this Christmas season is all about. We went Caroling for part of the night and what a joyful time that was. I have forgotten how much I love singing Christmas songs, especially to others! It not only warms your own soul, but it warms the souls of those who are listening and it truly is a key ingredient in bringing that Spirit of Christmas, into ones heart. Honestly though, it was not just this night that brought me out of my "Grinch" moment that I was having, due to stress, etc., it was also due to the fact that I changed my mindset and though my situation did not change, just by changing my attitude and choosing to be happy, I feel more at ease and happy. I am trying to keep the mindset that I will do my best and leave the rest and be happy with whatever the outcome may be! And truthfully, it seems to be working. Though I still have a lot to accomplish, I am not stressing over it like I was, rather I am chugging along doing all I can and hopefully I will accomplish everything I want and if I don't, oh well!, it will not be because I did not try and let's not forget, it will not be the end of the world! (which is always good to remember! LOL!)

I think one of the major overwhelming concerns I had on Saturday was that we had nothing for Payten and not only that, but we had no idea what we were going to buy her, which really upset me. She is one who is extremely difficult to buy for and the things that would be beneficial to her, are pretty pricey and we do not have a lot of money, therefore I feel/felt as though she was going to be left with nothing on Christmas and that truly hurt my heart to think about. However, my Father reminded me that Payten will not be the one "hurting", nor will she be bothered by no presents, for she really cares about is whether she feels loved or not and that the person who will feel the hurt and be bothered, will be me. Therefore I need to relax, figure out a few things or figure out one big thing and leave it at that. Payten will be happy with whatever she gets. Heck she would be happy to just receive some wrapping paper and boxes! LOL! So, instead of stressing over something that will only truly affect "me", I need to not worry so much about it and move on, ultimately trying to go with the flow. Thanks Dad, for helping to remind me of this, it truly helped to put things in proper perspective and it gave me a more cheerful disposition. Now, after thinking about it, we might be getting Payten an IPAD. The reason being, is that it can be very beneficial for therapeutic purposes and when she is not using it, the kids and family can use it too, so it will be a win, win for everyone. However, we are still uncertain that we will be doing this, it is just an idea that we are throwing around. In order to do this, we would most likely use some of the funds that we have set aside for Payten, that is set aside to be used for therapeutic and other needs that Payten may have, which will definitely make this present more budget friendly for us, but who knows we might do something else, we will see.

As for teacher, therapist, Doctor, neighbor, etc. gifts, I am going to try and keep them super simple, by doing a homemade ornament. Something along the lines of one of these,

Aren't they so cute? And with it, I thought that a homemade card and with a personalized note in it would be the prefect touch to go with these adorable ornaments. Here is what I am thinking of doing for the card,

That way, it is a gift that is more from the kids and not from Mom. Besides, I think there is something special about receiving a keepsake gift, that has a personal note of appreciation, it screams thoughtfulness and love, which is the whole purpose behind making and giving these gifts in the first place, right?! So that is what I am doing! Honestly, I think that by finally having a game plan on what I am going to do for these different gifts, as well as some ideas for Payten, has helped me to not be so stressed and better able to change my attitude to one that is happy! So, Thank you pinterest and the sweet bloggers and crafters, who post their creative ideas on that awesome site, for if it were not for you, I would not have any clue what to do in regards to these gifts. Now you know what the kids and I will be doing the rest of the week, working on these projects. Then, it will be on to baking! Which most likely will not begin until sometime next week! Seriously, I can't wait! I am finally starting to get excited and giddy over all of this fun craftiness! Not only did pinterest and the people who post their ideas on there, help me with the "thank you" Christmas gifts, but it also gave me some cute ideas on what to do for a "homemade" gift exchange that my friend is hosting on Monday, which has been something else that I have been fretting about, but thankfully now that I have some ideas, I am no longer fretting about it, rather I am excited for it!

I guess you could say, I am that person, that as long as I have a plan and I am working towards accomplishing that plan, things are okay, even if it does not turn out the way I want it to, because ultimately, I know I tried. Therefore I need to keep this in mind through every aspect of my life, so that I can prevent many of these moments from happening! Hey at least I can say that I am learning from all these moments of stress and breakdowns and that maybe by figuring this out now, next year will be free of chaos and stress and replaced with joyful, laughter filled Christmas cheer! I think it's possible. Well, maybe not, but one can hope and dream!


Tonight, was not the only part of my day that was good, overall today was a good day. Payten is still having some troubles, things that we still can not fully put our fingers on as to what is exactly wrong/going on. She is still sleeping her days away and it is now affecting her therapies. She just can not seem to stay awake long enough to function, therefore her therapy sessions are non effective. We are to the point that we might have move all of her therapy sessions to early morning, so that the therapist can catch her during that small window of opportunity she seems to have shortly after she wakes up. This will add more stress on me, but I will take that added stress, if it means more success for Payten. I have a lot to think about in the next few days. Here is a video of Payten at PT. Today Payten had a better session than last week, but still she only gave the PT about five "good" minutes and the rest of the time she slept. Her sessions are suppose to be an hour long, but Payten typically can only give about five to ten minutes, then after that, she is completely exhausted and falling asleep. It breaks my heart to watch her struggle like she is. This video I am about to show you, is shortly after Payten fell asleep, but taken while she is still in the light gait trainer. This video is going to show you just how "out of it" she really has been and will help you to understand why it upsets me so badly. Here it is,

I know it is an extremely short video, but it still gives you the idea of what Payten has been going through or rather what she has been doing, which is not much. Also we feel that more often than not, when Payten is awake, all she does is cry, which is not like Payten. Payten is one the most happiest children you will ever meet, therefore when she cries, we know their is a legitimate reason as to why she is crying. Which is extremely difficult for us, because she can not tell us what that reason is. We are hoping that soon these issues she is having will fade away and that we will start to see Payten progress again. We are waiting for another sleep study to be done, just to make sure she does not need the ventilator again. Also, she has a Doctors appointment tomorrow, in which I hope the Doctor will be able to give me some clarification as to what is going on, why it is happening and how we can help prevent it from happening. I know, wishful thinking! Again, like I always say, Please continue to pray for our sweet Payten, for she is still in great need of those prayers. I want to Thank you all so much, we truly appreciate you praying for our daughter.

Now before I go, here is a glimpse as to what Buddy the Elf has been up to,

 Above is a picture of Buddy and Josie, in which they decided to make a carousel and pretend to take a ride on it. In which, Emmett took literally, meaning he turned on the fan, so that they could experience the full effect of what a carousel ride can offer. By doing so, he left Buddy and Josie, in quite an injured state, to the point that the next night,

They relaxed with their family, all while reading books! Silly Elves!

Silly or not, the kids still love these Elves! Which is why I do what I do with them!

Also, it is such fun!

 

 

Tis the season to be jolly and I hope this post finds you all feeling a little jolly and that you all have a blessed night, filled with sweet dreams! Much love to you and your families! Good night and God bless.

Christmas time can be a little crazy and chaotic!

This was at our Churches Christmas party!

 My Dad played Santa and my kiddos thought that was the coolest thing ever!

 

 

Where to begin, oh where to begin! I love Christmas time, though it is a season to rejoice and have fun with family and friends, it never fails that chaos and stress creep their ugly heads into the mix. Most of the time it is self inflicted chaos and stress, but it is still chaos and stress, none the less. When I say self inflicted, I mean, that many times, we find ourselves trying to accomplish every little thing and make everything prefect, when in all reality, all we really need to do is, simplify things and enjoy them, rather than drive ourselves mad trying to be everywhere, doing everything and all while trying to achieve some unobtainable "prefect" type Christmas, that does not exist! Christmas time, should be a time of giving of ourselves, not necessarily of  the "prefect" or "homemade" present, rather it should be the giving of our time and selves that helps to life the burdens of those around us who are in need of that help and encouragement. But not only that, this season should be spent in Rejoicing of Christ and of his birth and the fact that he is indeed the King of Kings and it should be spent celebrating with the people we love, rejoicing in these truths, all while enjoying the sacred time we are spending together as family and friends. However, often times, we tend to throw in the unnecessary "extras" that take away, rather than add to the spirit of Christmas. I am not preaching this, because I am prefect at this, rather I am preaching this, because I need to take heed to these words and learn from them, because I tend to fall victim to this chaos and stress every year, with the feelings that I am not doing enough for my family and friends! Silly me! I need to stop and take a step back, reevaluate my situation and what I am trying to achieve and realize that rather than try harder, I need simplify everything around me, so that I too can feel of the spirit and joy this season has to offer, rather than dread it because I am trying too hard to help everyone around me feel and enjoy this time of year.

 

 This week has been crazy, hence the no blogging! Every night has been a late night, doing different things for Christmas. I feel like this has been the worst year for feeling overwhelmed and stressed and today, as I sat down to ponder and evaluate the past week and what went good and what I could have improved upon, I realized why I have been feeling more overwhelmed and stressed. I realized, I am trying to do everything I have done in years past, but without all the help that I have had in years past. Meaning, the past few years, I have had the help of Nursing for Payten, which has enabled me to accomplish more things during my days, rather, than being left to do everything at night, when everyone is sleeping, so that  I can think and do things, without interruption. I never realized how much I needed the help of Nursing before, especially during this time of year, until now, when I do not have the help. Without the help, it has left me on edge, feeling as though I do not have enough time in the day to accomplish everything that I need to accomplish, which leaves me staying up late, trying to accomplish the tasks that gone undone during the day, as well as doing the "extras" that go with this time of year, as well as getting in my own Christmas fun in, by doing Elf on a Shelf! It has truly left me feeling as though my head is spinning!

 

Thankfully, Payten was just approved for Nursing hours again, due to her having her trach reinserted. Unfortunately, the help might not come until after the Holidays, but at least it will come and Joseph and I, now realizing just how much we truly need the help, will be that much more welcoming of it, though it still will be a bitter sweet necessity. I say bitter sweet, because it is bitter sweet, for we need the help greatly, but it is quite hard opening your home up to a complete stranger and feeling as though you have to have everything neat and tidy, always in order and that you need to be on your best behavior, making sure their needs are met and that they feel comfortable, etc. all while trying to use your time wisely while you have them in your house, helping you, but also getting that much needed break in too. It can be cumbersome at times, but going without the help of Nursing for so long, Joseph and I know that it is time to welcome that help back and be grateful for it, for we truly are in need of it. We are just hoping that this time around, we will find reliable Nurses, who fit in with our family and who can meet our families needs, for that will make this transition so much easier and smoother. So please, if you could keep our family in your prayers that we might find the "prefect" home health Nurse for our family, we would greatly appreciate it. 

 

Not only have I been dealing with Mommy duties and Payten duties and meetings in regards to Payten and all of her therapies, etc. This week has also been filled with meetings regarding the other kids and school, etc. Which has left me feeling overwhelmed as to how to best help them and how to meet their educational needs, so that they can be as successful as they can be. However, I feel since the last meeting, Joseph and I had with Makenna's teachers, that things have been a lot better. I feel as though the school has been a lot more accommodating to both Zachary and Makenna's needs and that the school has been a lot better about communicating right away to me when a problem arises, rather than waiting for it to become a much bigger problem. Also the school has been more willing to listen to my ideas and suggestions. Honestly, I am not sure if it is because they know that I know the laws and what my children are entitled too, therefore they are scared of me or the fact that the school is just now starting to get with the program?! I want to say that it is because they are scared of me, but whatever the reason is for the recent changes in the schools behavior, I do not care, all I care about is that they are finally accommodating my children and meeting my children's educational needs. I am crossing my fingers that it lasts throughout the year and that my fighting days are over with this school and that they continue to give into the needs that my children may have.

 

Thursday was parent's day at Makenna's dance class and Joseph was able to go and watch her dance, since there was limited space, therefore we could not bring the whole family to see her and we did not have anyone who could watch Payten, as well as the other kids. He did however, take pictures for me and some videos! She may not be the best dancer, but she is certainly not the worst dancer and she is by far the cutest dancer, at least in my opinion! Here is the pictures and videos that Joseph was able to capture for me,

 

 

Darn! Unfortunately, my computer would not allow me to post the videos Joseph captured of her dancing, but you get the idea from the above pictures! Doesn't she look so cute?! I love this little girl and her spunky little self! She makes an adorable Ballerina, even if she can not do prefect splits!

Friday, we had our Ward/Churches Christmas Party and this is the first year, in a few years, that we were able to make it as a family, which was great, considering that my Dad played Santa at it! The Santa that the Church/Ward had planned on fell through, so they called me Friday morning and asked if my Dad would be willing to play Santa? After some coaxing and begging, my Dad agreed to be Santa and I might add that he did a great job at it! I think he really enjoyed seeing old friends, as well as seeing the children's faces light up as they sat on his lap! But even though he was playing Santa, he still remained his normal, jokester self, giving the kids bunny ears, all while making funny faces. He really was the life of the party and I think he made one memorable Santa, that the kids will remember for years to come! I know my kids will always remember this night and the fact that their Grandpa played Santa! Here is a picture of Santa, aka Grandpa Greene and the Merrill kids sitting on his lap,

Are these not the cutest pictures with Santa?! What a fun night it was and what a great memory this will be in the years to come, knowing that Grandpa loved his Grand kids enough to come and play Santa at their Ward Christmas party! After the Christmas party was over, we went for a drive around town, listening to Christmas music, looking at the different light displays that people put up, all while listening to our children fight and bicker that they could not see the lights, to say it was prefect ending to a beautiful day, would be an understatement, for it could not have ended better, bickering and all! The imperfections are what make it so perfect!

Saturday, was spent trying to declutter our house, in order to make room for all the "new" things that Christmas will bring, as well as Joseph and I trying to complete all of our Christmas shopping. It was probably the most stressful day of last week, at least for me, that was filled with me having a few panic attacks! Seriously, I love spending time with Joseph and I love going shopping, (that is when I have a game plan) but there is something about Christmas shopping and trying to stretch a dollar, so that the parents feel as though their kids are getting what they want, all while remaining within a reasonable budget, that can send any parent, especially the Mother, into a complete and total break down/panic attack! I seriously, did not enjoy most of Joseph and mines night, Christmas shopping, due to the fact that I was either worried that we were spending too much money, or I felt that we were not finding everything we wanted to find, feeling as though we had no time left to find it, all while crying over the fact that we were not buying certain things for  Payten, all because of her developmental disabilities. It really was quite a depressing night, that I feel bad Joseph had to endure, for he was stuck dealing with me and my crazy Christmas shopping state! Hopefully this coming weekend, when we go out to finish our Christmas shopping, I will be in a better spirit, not feeling so stressed about time and money.

Before I go, I want to leave you with all of the crazy Skylarking fun I did this week with Buddy and Josie,

 Above is a picture of Josie Relaxing, while Buddy, was

in the kitchen feeding the children! (it is nice being able to use

Makenna's toys for my different Elf antics!)

 Then Buddy and Josie got a little domestic and made cookies and snowflakes!

The cookies were store bought cookie dough and snowflakes, darn it!, were hard!

Seriously, I forgot how to make a snowflake, which made it quite hard to achieve this Antic,

which left me up way later than expected and Zachary caught me skylarking about! Which I

told him that Buddy and Josie asked me for help and in order to make that believable, the next day

while the kids were out of school, due to parent teacher conference, I took them to lunch and while we were at lunch, I had my Dad break in and move Buddy and Josie, so that Zach would be left wondering if Buddy really was real or not?! Here is what Grandpa did,

 

 

There was no real rhyme or reason as to what Grandpa did,

thankfully the kids believed the craziness of Buddy's antics were all because

of Buddy getting a hold of one of Mom's Sodas and the Caffeine caused him to go Wild!

 The kids thought it is pretty funny that Buddy googled himself and they were

worried that Buddy might have ordered some Buddy merchandise! It was quite

comical listening to them.

 Then that night, Buddy went hunting,

 While Josie and the kids,

 Played and Relaxed,

Tonight, Josie and Buddy, felt like being a little "naughty" and they Tee Peed the Christmas Tree!

 

Though my week has been a little chaotic and overwhelming, I have still found pleasure in doing the little things, such as Elf on a Shelf! However, I am going to try and take heed to the words I said at the beginning of this post and this week I am going to try to find ways that will simplify things, so that I do not feel so stressed, therefore I might leave Buddy and Josie sitting on a Shelf doing nothing for a few days, which will leave my kids wondering what happened to Buddy and Josie and questioning if they are sick?! Who knows it might be fun! I hope that you all are enjoying your Christmas season, with little to no stress and that you taking the time to remember and enjoy the sacredness of what this season can bring. I love you all and I hope that you all have a blessed night.

 

 

 

He's BACK! Our Elf Buddy returned last night and he brought his wife, Josie with him! Let the Elf games begin!!!!

Yesterday, as you can see in this picture, was an emotionally, exhausting day and no, Emmett is not the one who was emotional; exhausted, maybe, but even though this picture shows him crying, he is not the one in whom I am referring to, rather I am talking about myself. I just happened to feel that this picture depicted how I felt yesterday, very well. This just happens to be a picture that I snapped shortly after Emmett flipped over his horsey that he had so passionately been galloping on moments prior to the flip and I snapped it because he wouldn't let me help him, so that is what he gets, a picture taken, instead hugs. Anyways, yesterday was an extremely difficult day for me emotion wise; which was all in regards to Payten and not sleeping well, due to both Payten and Emmett keeping me up all night, hence the statement exhausted, maybe!, in regards to Emmett.

Payten just kept struggling yesterday and there was nothing I could do to help her. Payten was not able to function at all yesterday, therefore she slept all day. At one point, when I took her the Physical Therapy, in hopes that maybe Miss Anna could get her to wake up, Miss Anna and I decided to try the light gait, (which a harness walking device that can be used on the floor or the treadmill, we usually use the treadmill in Payten's case.) we strapped her into the harness and put her on the treadmill, with no avail. Payten just hung there like a rag doll. You would think by moving her around and getting her upright, she would wake up, unfortunately that was not the case, which left Anna and I both stumped as to what really was going on, for it was not a normal sleeping state that Payten was in, rather we think it was either due to seizures or something, else a long the lines of Neuro.  This event was my breaking point, I had already had a rough night and morning with this sweet little angel and now she couldn't even wake up?! I went home and I completely melted, emotionally. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, for I just can not watch her go through this anymore, it is literally tearing me up inside.

The only saving Grace I had was, that I knew Elf on a Shelf was starting that night and unlike some, I love Elf on a Shelf! It seriously, takes me to my happy place and it melts away all my stress and troubles away and let's me feel like a kid again. That is why I do all the fun little antics with the Elf, instead just moving him from shelf to shelf! I do this because, first of all, my kids love it and they light up with each thing Buddy their Elf does and second, because it is an outlet from reality for me! Yes, it is a lot of work and yes it creates more messes for me to clean up, but hey, my life is already filled with tons of work, chaos and messes, so what's a little extra going to do, kill me?! I think not!

Last night, Buddy and  his wife, Josie, who is new to us this year (Makenna all year kept asking if I could call Santa and see if he would send Buddy's wife with him, for she needed a girl to represent her, so I caved and now we have Josie too!) was finally able to come, for in our house, the rule is, that Christmas has to be completely set up on the inside of the house, before the Elf's can come. This helps to not only motivate Joseph and I to get the Christmas stuffed up as early as we can, but it also helps ensure that the kids will participate and do all they can do to help with the decorations, for they want the Elf's to come as quickly as possible!  It really is a win, win rule in my opinion. So anyways, Buddy and Josie, were finally able to come last night, because I was finally able to get the finishing touches done on the house, which were hanging the stockings! Here is a picture of our stockings hung, (I wish they all matched, but hey it adds to the eclectic theme we have going on in Christmas décor, so it works! LOL!)

I am pleased with the way the stocking wall turned out, I think it looks really festive and nice. After I got the stockings up and the kids in bed, the Elf games began and let me tell you, I had a blast getting it set up. Instead of Buddy flying in on parachute this year, he flew in on a Reindeer and in his note to the kids, he said that he was so excited to be back, that he couldn't wait for anyone to strap on a parachute, instead, he hopped on one of the reindeer and flew on in! (The kids got a good laugh at that), Then Buddy spread snowflakes all over and brought a little tree with him and candy, oh and don't forget the silly string, he brought silly string too and sprayed it everywhere! I know, what the heck was I thinking?! To be quite honest, I was not thinking at all! Rather, I was caught up in the moment having fun! Unfortunately the clean up was not as fun as the set up and while I was cleaning up, I thought to myself, "Mental note, remember, try not to do things that make a HUGE mess, for you are the one who has to clean them up, idiot!" Anyways, it was all in good fun and the kids faces and squeals of joy, were enough of the reward, that clean up was not so bad! Here are some pictures from Buddy and Josie's arrival last night,

Aren't they cute?! Seriously, Makenna was so excited, she kept telling Buddy different things he could do and she whistled all the way to school, all while grinning from ear to ear. Now tell me, if your child reacted this way, you wouldn't do this?! I think you would!

Payten had a little better day today and I got a little more sleep than the night before, which helped me to have a very productive day, for Buddy and Josie, cleaned Makenna's room aka MOM! And yes the Elf's in our house move throughout the day! I know, I know, a little overboard! LOL! Once they cleaned her room, they moved onto changing the Menu board in the kitchen (great, now my kids think candy is okay for dinner, Buddy!!!) and after that they all laid down for naps. I say ''all" because, Makenna gave Buddy and Josie three children so that they could have a family! Isn't she so cute?! She got their children out of her Barbie collection! To say that Makenna was just into this Elf on a Shelf, would be an understatement. Here are pictures of Buddy and Josie's afternoon antics,

Then tonight Buddy and Josie ended with a little snow mountain and sledding, with a camp fire and a snowman,

I know it is a elaborate, but hey, look at these pictures and notes that Makenna left for Buddy, Josie and the kids and tell me you wouldn't do the same,

 and besides that,

 

And that is exactly what Elf on the Shelf is for me! It is my Christmas Magic and it makes me happy, which like I said, is why it is so therapeutic for me, in helping me to leave all the stress and worry that I feel on a daily basis for Payten behind and rather focus all my energy on ALL my kids, by giving them magical memories that will last them a life time. I hope you enjoyed getting to see a little bit of my quirky, crazy, overachieving side of me and got a few laughs from it! Please stay tuned for more Elf on a Shelf, for I will be posting what Buddy and Josie do each day on here! So, keep checking in to see what Buddy and Josie have been up to! I hope you all had a lovely day and that you all have a great night! Merry Christmas and God bless!