May we find the joy in every moment

How cute is this?! Payten's Physical Therapist gave her these Mini Ears, out of a bunch of stuffed animals and other things, that her Mother in Law gave her to give to all her clients. Miss Anna thought this was the perfect thing for Payten and I agree, I think she looks adorable. Miss Anna wanted a picture so she could send it to her Mother in Law and say thank you. I love, the love Payten's therapist have for her, I know she can feel it and it makes Payten so happy and it helps her to thrive so much more, than if she didn't have that love. This was such a sweet gesture from a stranger, that will be cherished forever. This might just be what Payten dresses up as for Halloween. I guess you will have to wait and see!

This morning was a difficult morning for Payten. She was very emotional and not handling life well. It was very difficult for me, because when I would try to hold her, she would get more upset, so I had to let her do her thing, AGAIN. I should be use to this, for it is not the first time that I have had to walk away. We that said, I still believe it is something I will never get use to, because as a Mother, you want to comfort your child when they cry, but in Payten's case, it does not work that way and it breaks my heart. So moments like these,

though they may be hard, because of the knowledge we have that it is a drug induced sleep, due to medications, etc., these moments are still extremely precious, for these are the moments I can hold her, rock her, hug her, kiss her, just plain love on her, all while singing or reading to her. I don't get these moments when she is awake, at least not very often, so it hit me today that though this is not ideal for her to sleep all the time, I need to find the joy in these simple moments and realize that this might be a gift for me, her Mom, in the sense that I can do these things with her, that I desperately yearn to do, but can't, because she does not have the ability to slow her mind and body down to allow it.

So this morning after she fell asleep, before I laid her down, I held her in my arms and I rocked her and caressed her hair and cheeks and I told her everything I loved about her, in the hopes that she was listening and heard me and then I ended our sacred moment with a few of her favorite songs. It was a moment that was frozen in time, that I will always have in my mind to cherish forever. She is an angel that has been bestowed upon me and though her life is filled with hardship, she is everything that is good and I can not believe that I was the lucky one to receive such a precious being. So instead of resenting the fact that the quality of her life is diminished due to her sleeping most of her days away, I need to take advantage of these precious moments in time and love on her and sing to her and read to her etc. for I won't receive as prefect an opportunity as this and these will be the moments that I will remember always. I am truly blessed and this little darling happens to be one of my greatest blessings. I can not believe she chose me! It is mind blowing to think, she is going to be five in just a few weeks. Time goes so quickly, therefore I am going to make a conscious effort to take advantage of these moments in time and enjoy this beautiful face, that I love dearly, the face of my sweet Payter Tater!

May we all take advantage of the simple moments we are given in life and make the most of them, for we do not know how long we have, therefore we need to make every moment count, whether it is good or bad, we need to make the best of it and find the joy that is with in it. I am so thankful each day for the simple lessons I learn. They help to strengthen me and uplift to me to be better. May we all strive to be better in our lives, for there is always room to improve. I love you all and I am blessed to have you in my life. Now go hug someone you love and make some precious memories together. Much love to you all and good night.