This week, I could have wallowed in self pity, I could have laid in bed and cried all day, thinking about all the bad and sad things that have happened this week and throughout my life, but instead, I chose to face the problem head on. I chose to look at it for what it was, to allow myself to cry, to talk and to express the different emotions I was feeling and move forward after I went through all of these things. I did not give into the anguish and pain, but I also did not ignore the anguish and pain, rather I dealt with it. If I had just ignored it, all I would have been doing is setting myself up for a future breakdown and if I had given into it fully at that moment, I would have fallen into a major breakdown that could have lasted a really long time. I sincerely believe the key to facing and dealing with a difficult situation, is allowing yourself to feel, express, deal and then move forward with a smile on your face. But you also need to understand that every situation is different and therefore some things are going to take longer than others. Therefore we need to allot ourselves the time needed to heal, whether it be days, weeks, months, years, we need to make sure we take the time to fully heal, but also still try to live our lives the best we can.
How do you do this? I can not answer that question, for we are all different and therefore the answer is different for everyone and every case. For me and my current situation, the answer has been to allow myself to be open and honest with what I feel and if I need to cry, then I cry, if I need to scream then I scream, etc and once I release whatever it is I need to release, I move on. If it takes a day, then it takes a day and then I try to move forward, with a hope that the next day and the week, will get better and brighter with every step. And to be quite honest it has really helped to keep me from completely falling apart. But not only has it helped to keep me from a complete and total break down, it has also helped me to feel like I am releasing the emotions I need to release, rather than bottling them up.
Now, I want you to know, this a process, that takes time to learn. I have had five years to learn and grow in this due to the different circumstances I have faced with Payten. It did not come over night and it is not a mastered skill, for I am still learning. However with that being said, I have come a long ways and I have learned who I am and how I deal with hardships and challenges and I try to face them in the best way I know how, in order to keep the best attitude I can while enduring it. I am not always successful at it, but I am getting better and better each time I face these different challenges. So my thoughts for you are this, learn who you are and how you deal with life and the challenges that life sometimes hands you, so that you can try and figure out what is the best way for you to do when faced with a difficult situation, so that you can ultimately keep the best attitude possible during it. I promise that if you try and remain positive during a stressful/challenging time, it will make all the difference.
Now that I got that out, I will step off my box of tide and move on!!! The kids and I were able to have the fun day I wanted to have due to it being the last day of October break. No, we did not do exactly what I wanted, but I knew it was not a realistic thing for us to do everything I wanted, because my body is still healing and I need to not push myself too hard, so that I am not in a worse situation later because of it. So, for our day of fun, we ran a few errands, picked out a birthday present for Makenna's best friend, Harlee and then went and got some lunch at Chick fil A. After lunch I started hurting really bad, so rather than killing myself by walking around a pumpkin patch like we had planned, I decided to take the kids on a drive around town instead and play the old school game of Slug Bug! To say we had fun would be an understatement. We laughed and laughed and laughed. It was a much needed moment for all of us.
The best part of it, was when my son Zachary looked at me and said, "Mom you're smiling! I am so happy to see you smile! I love your smile so much, it is one of the most beautiful smiles I have ever seen and I have missed it all week! So thank you for letting me see it today!" His words not only brought a bigger smile to my face, they also brought tears to my eyes, for I did not realize that by me not smiling due the sorrow I had felt this past week, I had not only been affecting myself, but I was also affecting my children in a negative way. It made me realize that no matter what, I need to try to always smile, even if it is hard, I need to find a reason to smile. Smiling is beautiful and it is an important part in helping yourself find that positive attitude you need in order to help you endure a hard situation. I love these simple reminders my children teach me, for they help me to better myself!
Our night ended with Emmett as happy as can be! Which made me as happy as can be! His dream came true, he was able to transform into his favorite character, Captain Jake, from Jake and the Neverland Pirates,
His face says it all, he truly was one happy boy!
Our day may have been simple, for my body could not handle more than that, but it still was a day we will remember, for we had fun and we made some priceless memories; and memories are what we keep forever! Remember, life is a beautiful thing, so let's try to always keep the right attitude for it may seem to be a simple thing, but it does have a huge impact on not only ourselves, but those around us! I love you all and I hope you all have a good night. I want to thank you again for all your love and support, it has been much need and much appreciated.
No comments:
Post a Comment