About me and my blog!!!!!

Hello Everyone! My name is Kimberly Merrill and I am new to the Blogging World and everything in it! But I am so excited to jump in and get started! First off I wanted to introduce myself, let you know who I am and why I started my blog, Payten's Corner. I am a young wife and mother of three beautiful children. While growing up I can remember that all I wanted in life was to be a wife and mother. I loved children! I can remember my heart always going out toward those children with special needs. I was drawn to them, I felt like I understood them and I always wanted to help them. When I was in Junior High and High School, I worked very closely with children with disablities, autism, etc. It was a passion of mine! I remember always thinking what Marvelous Parents these kids were blessed to have. How strong their parents must have been to beable to endure what they had to endure. I thought what amazing Heroes they were in their child's life and how I could never be that parent, I could never endure what that parent had to endure. I remember always questioning how they did it. In no way did I know that I would be proven wrong someday! When I met my future husband Joseph, I saw the realization of the dream of becoming a wife and mother coming true. I guess you could say I was living the American Dream! I had a wonderful husband, who had a good job, a nice home that was large enough for a family to grow comfortably in and two very healthy children. The only thing I had to really deal with was Colic and a few ear infections now and then, but nothing major. You could say I was kind of spoiled! When I became pregnant with our third child we were so ecstatic! We had waited so long and were so excited that it was finally coming to be! I had a normal pregnancy that progressed to what I thought would be an easy delivery; my first two births had been great and so I had no concerns whatsoever. Little did I know that the night I went into labor with Payten, would change my life forever! Our little Payten Isabella came into the world with slight problems that we hoped would be easily solved. That was not to be the case. Since her birth 20 months ago, Our American Dream has started to crumble. It seemed our little girl was not going to get better, but that it would be quite the opposite. We have faced emotional, physical, and financial hardships that I never saw coming. I honestly can say, that had you asked me 2 years ago if I could be the Mother of a child like Payten, I would have told you No! I would have probably said like I did before as a young teenager, That there was no way I could be the HERO those Parents are! Oh how wrong I was! I am here to tell you that the saying is true, The Lord does not give you trials that you can not handle. It has been hard and not only on me, but everyone in my family. My husband has had to bare not only the worry of providing for a family of 5, but also the stress that comes along with having a child like Payten and how he is going to provide everything she needs. And our other two children, Zachary (7) and Makenna (4) have gone through so much as well. Being Shuffled from Home to Home, so that I could be at the hospital with Payten and fear of not knowing what is happening, has been very difficult to see. At times I have felt my heart breaking for them. I really do not know how I have been able to do it, all I can say is that I could not have done it without the help of my friends and family and to you, I say Thank You! Yes, it has been hard, I have cried, I have yelled, I have asked myself many times, why my family, why Payten? But with all of this I have never questioned why me? I know that this was my mission and to that I have given thanks for this angel that I have been blessed to care for. Payten is so very special; everyone who meets her can feel it. I am blessed to be her mother and call her my daughter. I guess the reason that I am writing this blog is for both myself and others. That it may be a therapy and a realease of stress for me, and that in some small way I can help even one parent of a special needs child who may feel inadequate, know that they are not alone, that they are more than adequate, they are unsung Heroes! Our job is not easy, in fact, it is EXTREMELY hard! But nothing worthwhile ever was easy. As the saying goes, "IT IS THE TOUGHEST JOB YOU WILL EVER LOVE!" Nothing is more Worthwhile! I look forward to writing each day or as often as my life allows me too! Please understand that I hope you will feel and understand what I am trying to portray. I hope you laugh with me, cry with me, get frustrated with me and feel joy with me! Before Payten, I was the type of Mom that was always on the go. I was involved in EVERYTHING! You could say that I was your typical Social Butterfly! But since Payten that has changed! I have become more serious, I looked at life in a whole new light. I do not take anything for granted. I am more aware of life's challenges and have kind of inverted into my own little world. I do not have as many friends as I use to, the friends I do have I do not see very often, I pretty much keep to myself. My Doctors, Therapist, and Nurses have become my friends and so I hope this blog will help me to come out of my shell and regain that social aspect of my life that use to play such a big part! I hope that I can make friends and help others truly understand that they are not alone in this Journey called PARENTHOOD! So here's to you, The unsung Heroes in the lives of these SPECIAL ANGEL'S, the Mom's and Dad's out there! Let's lean on each other for support and together we'll get through this journey! There is HOPE; we just have to believe in it!