This Balancing Act called Life!

I am so excited and touched! I found out that more people read my blog than I thought and that makes me Smile! I was told by a few people that they really enjoy reading my words and to that I say thank you! It makes me feel so good to know that people are reading this! Because not only is this a great outlet for me and a great way to keep a journal, but also I want to help touch others by sharing my life experiences, so I am grateful that I am able to do this!

Today has been one of those challenging non-productive days. Payten has fussed and cried all day. I do not know why, she just has! She has either been fussy or in a daze and I am a little worried. But in all reality, there is not allot I can do. All I can do is keep a close eye on her. I have sat and held her for most of my day. It has been hard for me to do this! Do not get me wrong, I love spending time with my daughter and holding her and playing with her, but it is hard for me to do JUST this! I like a clean home and I feel that when I just sit and hold and play all day nothing gets done! I want to feel like I accomplished something and this just makes me feel lazy, ( just like when I get on face book!!!!) LOL! Why I feel this way, I don't know or understand! I shouldn't! I am a Mom and this is what Moms should do, enjoy their children!

Again, don't get me wrong, I enjoy my kids! I enjoy playing with them! I just sometimes feel like there is other things I should be doing. I need to realize that it is okay to just sit and hold your baby! Payten needed me today, more than my floors, laundry, dishes, etc. That perfect balance is so hard to find. You know, that balance between playing with your kids and everything else a Mom has to do! But every ones perfect balance is different. Different things and different ways work differently for different people! Somethings work better than others; I just need to figure out what works for me and what doesn't!

You would think by now, I would be a pro at this balancing thing, but I am not! I struggle daily with it! Some days are better than others! It is an accomplishment if I have a clean home, dinner cooked, home therapy with Payten done and playtime with the kiddos accomplished. I truly wish there was more time during the day! But I believe everyone has had that wish once in their lifetime. Summer does not make it any easier! It actually seems to be even harder! I can not seem to get my act together! How do parents do it? Summer classes, swim lessons, dance, sports, play dates with friends, etc. and still have time for everything else on Mom's to do list! I find it more challenging everyday! I feel that my two older children get put on the back burner and I don't know how to change that? I try so hard to do my best, but I feel like I am failing. Maybe I am trying to hard. Maybe I need to simplify things. I wish I had all the answers and more control over my life! (If you haven't noticed I am a control freak!) But that is one of life's challenges/lessons, no one has control over everything or answers to everything! You have to learn to be satisfied with what you are given or it is just going to drive you insane!

So I have decided to write down some goals! After taking some time to think about this balancing act I am trying to achieve, I thought Payten has goals, Zach and Makenna have goals, so why not Mom! Goals are a good place to start! They will help me to see what will work and what won't! So here it goes!

I am going to Smile more - I need to be less hard on myself! I need to realize that I am not super woman and I can not do it all and that is okay! And through Smiling about life's challenges will help me do this!!!

I need to relax more, my kids are more happy when I am not stressed out!

I am not going to let the little things bother me! It is okay if my house is not perfect everyday, I have 3 children and they need me more! If my house is clean 3 times a week and dinner cooked I am doing good! ;)

Early to bed, Early to Rise! Makes a Man healthy, wealthy and wise! Rest is the key to a productive day, so that is what I am going to try and do! Maybe if I can get up before the rest of them I can get things done before they start to make more messes!

I will choose 2 things from each therapy session (Feeding, Occupational, and Physical) to work on each day with Payten! I love going to Payten's different Therapy sessions! It amazes me how much there is to learn! I feel like there is so much out there that can help Payten to become more successful. I know it is through these therapy's that success will happen! I have been blessed to have some of the best therapist work with Payten and me! So I need to be better and do my part at home in accomplishing her goals! Payten is so ready and willing, I need to make the time and I do! I just need to simplify it a little bit so that I am not beating myself up each day for not accomplishing every goal on her list!!!!! A few are better than none!!!!

I will use my time more wisely! I will play with Payten while awake and then when she is napping use that time to do other things such as playing with Zach and Makenna, etc.!!!!

I need to worry less and enjoy more! I need to have fun! Life is too short to be stressed out all the time! Life is to be Enjoyed, Not just Endured! And I need to live like that!!!!

I will take a time out for me and not feel guilty! Everyone needs a time out once in a while without feeling guilty! It doesn't have to be often, but I do need to take that ME time!


These are my goals for now! I know that I will not be able to accomplish all of them at once! It will take baby steps to achieve them, but at least I will try! It will not happen over night and that is okay, as long as it happens one day! Lets hope that I will eventually get this balancing act called life down and that I quit stressing out about it so much! I love my kids and I want to be the best Mom I can be. I know my kids are affected by my stress level and I want to them to grow up having a fun childhood, where they feel happy and loved; rather than them feeling that their mom had no time. Here's to new goals and new days!!!!! I need to keep telling myself I don't have to be super-mom to be a good mom, I just need to be ME and do my best!!!! Good Day and Good night! Payten is up from her nap and so I have got to run!!!!!